Pilot
So, as you must have guessed reading this, I have decided to resurrect my blog. Well, maybe "resurrect" isn't an appropriate word, seeing as I may have created this blog but never really used it to "blog." So I guess you can really say that I am, in fact, officially starting my blog after a very long construction and hiatus.
Why? Why now? I don't know... truthfully. In part, before I never felt there was ever anything to truly write about, at least anything that would be worth sharing. I don't think I was ever completely comfortable with letting strangers a glimpse into my mind and thoughts. No, that isn't true... it isn't the strangers, it is the people I already know---friends, family, acquaintances---and the fear that they may view me differently because of it. Truthfully, I am not completely comfortable with it now.
But what is it that I am afraid of others seeing? I have nothing about me which I hide from my friends, aside from maybe restraining my geek-level, only because most do not share the same level of enthusiasm I may have for a particular subject or idea, but to most it's pretty clear of my strong geek-tendencies. I have long held the belief that I am not going to change who I am for others, and if somebody does not like me for who I am then so be it, I'll live. Why should it be any different with this?
Maybe it was something I read recently that stuck with me:
"Taking a chance, and stepping beyond the safety of the world we've always known is the only way to grow, though, and without risk there is no reward."
-Wil Wheaton
And maybe part of it has to do with the feeling that I am embarking on a new chapter of my life... in a way that I haven't quite experienced before. Even if nobody ever really reads this, this may be the point in my life where I would look back and say "Here's where things turned around for me and I pulled my life together... here's where it all started." (Or maybe nothing will work out and I'll look back and say "Wow, I was so naive.") But I'll have these moments, snapshots in time, inside my own head where I can look back and see just what I was thinking at that time. for better or worse.
And if others read this, maybe that will turn out to be kind of cool, too, though it is not fame or fortune I seek through this blog. I was rarely the "life" of a party and do not enjoy the spotlight... instead, I am the guy off in the corner having an intellectual and/or philosophical discussion with the only two other people in the building who would be able to keep up with the conversation... and I see nothing wrong with that.
The Big Question
So, I guess that begs the question... what is this new chapter of my life?
Well, there are quite a few things, nothing that huge by itself... in fact, most of them are things I have had the occasional whim to do before. However, it is that all of them are take place around the same period of time which leads me to believe it is significant--perhaps part of a larger trend--and possibly the beginning of larger, more substantial changes and events. They probably won't seem that amazing to others, though believe me when I say that for me it is.
I'll only start with the first and probably most significant of all, at 25 years old, I am returning to complete my college education after a three year hiatus while working full time in my current job. I left college after attending for four years. I spent the first three years declared as a Business major. The first year went well, the second ok, the third not-so-much. I began to question the selected major as a career and wondered if it was something I really wanted to do with my life and spend all of this money---money which I did not have and was borrowing---on this? The classes did not interest me very much, and because of that I generally did poorly in them. I did great in the classes which interested me, psychology and philosophy--but what can one really do with a bachelor's in either of those apart from more schooling? These questions weighed on me and eroded my motivation to attend classes, while personal issues at the time compounded it.
My fourth year I made the switch to a BA in Philosophy, something I actually enjoyed greatly. Shortly after that, I hit a snag and a Catch-21 which caused difficulties securing finances for the upcoming year (I can get into that at another time). Essentially, I needed to pay the school $1,700 to have the block on my account removed so I could enroll in classes... and I needed proof of enrollment---a class list---in order to apply for a student loan. I couldn't get one without the other.
So I left school, determined I would return once I knew what it was I wanted to do... just as soon as I figured that small part out. I knew I wanted a degree and to further my education---I had no misguided ideas about my hopes without it. There were several things which interested me, however, I found it overwhelming be able to pick one and say "This is the career I am going to spend $45,000 of money I do not have and will borrow AND the next four years of my life attaining, and then the next 10 years afterwards repaying the loans!" That is a lot of pressure. What if I hated it? What if it bored me out of my skull? Then I would sit with how-many-years wasted and how-many-thousands-of-dollars spent in order to do something I didn't want? No pressure.
Anyways, I am now a year and a half into being employed with at a manufacturing facility based on my experience from working as a summer student in the mill my father is an engineer at. It is a good job, one that many in the area would kill for, but it is a manufacturing job nonetheless and not what I want to do with my life. At the risk of sounding conceited, I am not among my intellectual peers there and that is something which I find very frustrating. Not to say there aren't intelligent people there, of course, however there are not enough of them to make things tolerable on a day to day basis.
And instead of going back to the life of poverty of a college student, I am going to work on my degree through Kaplan University for a Bachelors of Science in Information Technology, full time, while working here... hopefully I can manage the time load.The upshot is that my credits already earned will transfer, and with any luck I should have my degree within two and a half years.
Anyways, my experiences with this, working full time and attending Kaplan full-time, will probably be a central part of this blog. I do not fully know what to expect from Kaplan... I know online educations have gotten somewhat of a shady reputation with pay-for-degree schools... but I also know that these types of programs have been gaining respect and positive reputations among institutions as valid methods of eduction. There programs and course structures appear legitimate, and appeal to me in that my largest hurdle while in school was not doing the work, but having to do the work at a specified time, like classes where attendance was mandatory and a large part of the exams came from lecture notes... that I had difficulties with. However, classes where I could do the coursework and study according to my own motivations were far more productive and I learned a great deal more. I always learned more with limited-guided and hands-on self-education than with take-you-by-the-hand-and-tell-you-everything kind of teaching. So I am very optimistic that this method of learning will be very well suited to the strengths of my learning-style. Stay tuned, I guess, to find out.
Anyways, I suppose I should wrap this up, as it is already quite long as far as introductions go. I also have to work days (5am to 5pm) the next two days, so an earlier bed time would be best.
See you soon.
Joe
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